Experience

This time of year, as a student pastor, is always one of reflection.  Students will be heading off for summer vacations or whatever else they've got going and in a couple of months transition into an other chapter of their lives.  I always try to and I encourage my leaders to try speak into the lives of those students who have been in their small groups throughout the year. To give them something they can take away from this past year.  I can still remeber those encouraging words spoken to me by influential people throughout my life.  This is also a great time for parents to do the same. 

It may seem like your student doesn't want to hear from you, or that they think your words are cheesy and irrelevant.  But the truth is, they still need to hear that you care.  No matter what has happened in your family, no matter what hurt has passed between you and your student, they need to hear that they are loved and supported by you--their parents.  This month, focus on encouraging your student with your words.  You may want to choose something from the list of ideas below, or create your own experience.  make sure that your words are specific and genuine.  Everyone can spot a fraud; it's okay if you can't say all the things you might want to say.  Just tell them what comes from your heart.

• Write your student a note or a card.  Share with them specific talents and abilities that you see in them.  Include specific things that you love about them--things that make them unique.
• Praise your student in front of other people.  Let your child see that you are proud of them by hearing you share their accomplishments with someone else.
• Look for something that your student does well and tell them that you are proud of them.
• Watch the way you communicate.  If you are frequently fighting, think about ways that you can remain firm, but still let them know that you value them.  "you know that I trust you, but you still can't spend the night at..."  "You are beautiful, but you cannot leave the house in that outfit."  "I know that you are very smart.  That's why you cannot use your cell phone until you bring up you grades."

Even try to get others (youth leaders, influential adults, and relatives) who can speak into the lives your child and give them the encouragment they need to succeed.  Try some of these and promise you won't be sorry.  Later.